Pretentious People

I love pretentious people. No, seriously, I do.

The derivitave of pretention is pretense, which is essentially to pretend. In order to pretend, you must actively engage your imagination. You must ascend a portion of reality, embelish your personality, and invent different truths from what you otherwise know. Its trickery and escapism at a sane level.

Pretentious people are usually known to act snooty and better than other people, but usually they're just trying to have you think they're different. They want to stand out to you. They want to mask or escape some form of themselves that they are otherwise unproud or dissatisfied with. Some people are pretentiously better than they are, some are pretentiously worse, some pretentiously average. Eventually, the identity you present to others becomes truth.

I love characters especially. That guy who only wears armani suits to school, that girl who has fake eyelashes and two bras on, that hipster kid with three inch thick glasses who hasn't realized that's been out of style for three years, that scene kid who makes you feel sad and angsty just by being near him- they're all pretentious to an extent.

Instead of being insecure, pretentious people change what they're insecure about. They're proactive. People who are like "Ya man, I'm not trying to be anyone, I'm just real. This is who I am." WELL I THINK THATS GREAT serously don't change. However I also think people who aren't a 100% real are equally as great. They are creative, want you to solve a puzzle, and want to keep people guessing. They are secure in an identity they've given to themselves.

I also like pretentious people with huge egos. The are the ones who want everyone to be jealous of them and think they're better than everyone else. Whats funnest about these people is they'll tell you exactly why they're better than everyone. They'll tell you what differentiates them from the crowd, and how they're supposed to be treated. These people love when you feed their egos. So why not? If you try and bring them "down to earth" you're not accomplishing anything. The only way to fight this pretention, if you really are committed, is by being more pretentious. Like "Oh, you drink your coffee with a french press? I find french presses to be environmentally destructive. I prefer eating the coffee beans raw from the tree, in order to fully appreciate the bounty of mother earth without destroying it".... that sorta thing. And thats fun to do as well! Most likely, you'll earn the respect of the pretentious person. Or they'll call you pretentious.

The point of my little rant is- If you're pretentious, embrace it. Everyone else is too, and if they aren't, it doesn't really matter anyways. We're all interesting people- some just like to use their imagination a little more.

Why did she have to curse the moon?

She stood at the driveway

Fifty feet from me

Or so

She was so thin

So we ran to greet eachother

Engaged in long, cooing embrace

We almost forgot her bags

Sort of a deliberate gesture

For quaint stories

So she stayed

Everything was enriched

Her presence had

That power

Her power

Awakened our dear friend

Mr. Moon

And she yelled at him

All night

“Where were you when I needed you?

You left me to die.

I learned the magic on my own.

You were supposed to come for me, and set me free.

 I don’t need you anymore.

You’re going to curse the day you fell in the sky.

Why wouldn’t you just stay in love with me?”

I hope she doesn’t find out too soon.

Murmur

A tornado of fluid
And flaming eyes
Drew me in
-levetation
He taught me how to drown

I am very powerful
Under the moon
Like him

Ghosts

Heres my pseudo scientific transcendental magic take on ghosts.

I believe our universe is multidimensional. And things we cant fully explain like the curvature of gravity on macro scales or dark matter, most stuff thats weird is probably a result of dimensional forces and exist we aren't yet aware of. So ya, there's length, width, height, time, and so on but what if there are other whole dimensions where beings exist?

The earliest forms of science were coupled with superstitious religion or magic. We scoff at people who are superstitious, thinking that with the enlightenment of modern science comes the necessity to abandon these archaic practices. 

So here's what I'm saying. I think even on the earth, there are these multilayered dimensions that influence us. I think there are portals to these other dimensions that science hasn't learned how to detect or implement yet. I also think that for whatever reason, we haven't learned how to physically transport through these portals, but other creatures have the ability to. One that don't have the same dimensional limitations that we do when they come into the earth. 

Maybe thats why certain people say thats why they can communicate with spirits. Maybe thats what mediums refer to open portals to hell or the spirit world. Maybe thats why spirits aren't fully seen. Maybe just like when science was coupled with magic back in the day, there was some truth to the beliefs. Maybe how we respond and interpret paranormal activity isn't totally off base, its just the natural occurrence that happens when we don't understand it scientifically yet.

All I have to say is you shouldn't fully discredit the supernatural. Perhaps science won't progress towards understanding this phenomenon in our lifetime, but just remember- there's still so much we don't understand.

We Exist

There is that softly stoic side of both of us

I know it all too well

In the best of light

Melancholy

Is when my heart feels most alive

Most at ease

They ask whats wrong

You know the rightness in my wrongs

Perhaps I’m expecting too much of your knowing

Its coupled with truth and hope

The truth of dissection

The hope of love

When I analyze it altogether

I see the inconsistent flaws

You find beauty in them

I find beauty in you

And downward glances

Prove our existence,

Is indeed the cause of violent storms

In quiet universes

September 22

Sleeping in a dreary house
With dreams to trap my unconscious mind
We meet again, and expectation
Has me fixated on the face I left behind

There is always the waking
However

In this house I fondly dim the lights
Its comfortable to move slow in the darkness
For in the light my actions are precise

Yet every time I pull back the blinds
I still find
My future is painfully bright

Relevant Church

These days are that of radical social development. Everyone barely  has time to adapt to these changes, yet alone interpret them. The most prevalent struggle I have seen is that of staying relevant. How are we to make ourselves, our causes, our worlds of current interest? There is no magic formula. Those who say "evolve or become extinct" would be correct, but with special exceptions to resurgent human patterns and those objects deemed "timeless". 

It is a learned discipline to constantly subject oneself to change. A solution comes about with the solute and the solvent- you need the component to dissolve and the liquid to absorb and distribute. The solute becomes fossilized alone, and the solvent is lifeless without substance. Just like any answer for difficult questions, the key is in balance. We must constantly be looking for, catigorizing, and absorbing change. 

Anticipate the change. Look at where society is moving, and make an estimation as to where you should administer change for best impact. Look at who is innovative. Look at who changes first. Look who stays relevant. 

Change for the better. We all have a chance to impact the world we live in, and do something amazing.

What world do you live in? 

Now I'm going to address the church. Churches have been using shocking statements to elicit curiosity from the world and bring it into their community. Often times, these statements aren't original- they take relevant worldly topics or ideas out of context and apply them to their messages. Then, their messages are in the wrong language.

I have issues with all of this. First of all, taking ideas implies credit due for the originator. Taking ideas isn't innovative. Taking ideas/topics out of context causes cognitive dissonance with the audience- christian and non-christian. And not the type of dissonance that provides concrete analysis, its the type that leads to disbelief. Then, the messages themselves don't have the right words. They have a heavily christian based jargon that don't pertain or penetrate the non-christian world, therefore losing meaning and human connection. How is someone supposed to be reached with terms like "secular, nonbeliever, devos, quiet-time, walk with the lord, works" and so on? (Every word needs to be infused with contextual and timely meaning.) Use words that will mean something to people, and provide meaning for their life.

The final one: church is putting the world in their church instead of putting the church in thier world. There is a world begging for impact, but where is the church?- Waiting for innovation from the outside world, inside their closed communities- with doors disguised to look nonholy. Are christian musicians going into the world or just other churches? Are christians innovating new technology and ideas to help mankind or to argue their philosophical points? Are we educating our children how to stay relevant in a competetive and changing world, or are we teaching them how to stagnate and become extinct. Are we doing things with purity and excellence, or are we doing things with cheep flare and dishonesty.

I want a relevant church. One that infuses meaning in every word used, on that is balanced in its change, one that changes the world, and does so with innovation and integrity.

Behaviors of the Moon

Had I not known you as I do

I would have thought you despondent

As you wane

And quietly disappear

They say it's apogee

I have seen a few boys since

They are of the Sun

We have had fun

At night I look out the pane

Not hoping for you to return

Not hoping for resurrected luminescent nights

I know you too well

Though you’re distant

My heart journeys there

But I beg you please

Still,

I want to slip back into

Your spell of night

Quietly

2012 - THE YEAR FOR MUSIC

I don't know about you guys, but 2011 was a huge bummer for music. Granted, there were a few widely anticipated albums such as Drake's Take Care (which delivered),  The Strokes Angles, Bon Iver's self titled album, and newly popular Black Keys with their "El Camino", but overall I was dissatisfied.

 My dissatisfaction derived from a more personal preference that appeals more towards this 2012 year. I don't know though, 2011 just felt weird. The top charting songs, the reviews and energy of the music industry ebbs and flows, carrying an endless stream of musical talent towards different horizons of success. Where stuff flowed in 2011 seemed out of balance and place. Some artists with enormous talent wern't ready to put out there stuff yet, and the ones that were just put it out at strange points in the year, or were touring in europe, or I just wasn't that into. Does that make sense? Prolly not.

Weeellllllllllllllll
LATES 2011
like 6 months ago

HERES WHATS HAPPENING IN 2012 OMG SO PUMPED (im so pumped. did I mention I'm so pumped?)
Already----
 First Aid Kit's The Lion's Roar. This angelic Swedish duo came out with another album of deep, heartfelt lyrics. This album maintains there folky style, but with extreme vocal and instrumental strength, coupled with powerful and invoking lyrics. The album is not only complete, it is tightly woven. beautiful!!!!

Nicki Minaj's Roman Reloaded  gives the general public a thurough taste of their pop princess' artistry. Most people haven't been exposed to "Roman", and didn't see Nicki and Barbie as separate musical entites within Nicki Minaj, and I think this album offers more knowledge on this interesting quirk. She is a performance genius, she's dominant but feminine, she's energetic and commanding, and she certainly does what she wants. However, I don't love the super poppy songs. I was excited because I though this album was going to be all Roman, but in truth, this album was more about Barbie. Barbie makes the money for Nicki, so its understandable. Either way, she's still one of my favorite female artists.

Best Coast's The Only Place is increadibly lovely and heartfelt. Bethany Cosentino has recently come into a lot of fame, she's had a lot going on in her life, and this album is notibly somber comparred to the first album. It has a clearer sound, she slows down the rythym, there are more minor notes, and she really pours out her heart. She maintains the same beachy rock style that is Best Coast, and has some peppy songs for sure, but I really appreciate the refinement in this album, that shows her journey as an artist and woman.

Beach House's Bloom, is so perfect. I love when artists do a darker album, and this album is exactly that. I don't know, there in my top five favorite artists of all time. Victoria Legrand is my role model. Dreamy, haunting, amazing composition, deep and poetic lyrics, I drown in their music. This album was of no suprise to me, but for some reason, everyone really likes this album- especially people who couldn't get into beach house before.







Coming Soon--- (in 2012)

GRIZZLY BEAR's new album
DIRTY PROJECTOR's new album
THE XX's new album
ARCTIC MONKEYS' new album

need I say more friends? I am so spanking pumped <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 cheers

Force Fields

OMG this is like easy cheese cheesy.

So if you get grossed out, I'm sorry.

If you only like stinky cheese love crap, well sorry I'm just not refined in my analytical pallet yet.



Of the analogies pertaining to love- there are two I'm well aquainted with. The love chemistry and the love magnetism. I believe in magnetic love. Its the better love science. We all have romantic forcefields that attract and repell people, some are stronger than others, but only one person will be your magnetic opposite. That is not to say opposites attract, but someone's love forcefield will be equally as pulling to yours as yours is to them.

You will attract and repell many people. Some people with great romantic forcefields will attract all sorts of people, but I'm waiting for that person who just sticks. That I'm pulled so fast to that I can't stop it from happening. Someone I don't have to force myself to. Someone who gravitates towards me so tremendously that we can't be separated. Its one of the strongest bonds achievable when the forces are strong. Equal but opposite. Equal. Love

Love I know your out there.


I ain't in no hurry babe. But as for you guys, fall back. I already know weak magnets.

Moon Strings

Mr. Moon when I stare up at you

I dare you- look down on me

Penetrate my soul through the

Captivation of light in my eyes

Overpower me with your luminescence

And look inside

We’re not so different you and I

Made beautiful by the darkness,

Overshadowed by the suns light

Not like the corpse, not like the

Bloody, hungry body, but more like

The ghosts that haunt

You of course know more than I

But if you’d be so kind as to share

I’d take the time to listen

I’ve watched from afar

I know your heart

It has strings attached to mine

Stairwell Grey

If I told you to scar me
Perhaps you would understand
I love the moon
He does something to me

Stop falling asleep in the moonlight friend
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
You're biting me again
How many rabbits did you eat?

See?
Now you've pressed those canines
in deep- deep enough
a scar will be realized once
connective tissue covers this oozing hole

Me and  the moon know
You're a wolf
In comes the sunshine
You will never realize
How I love you so

Hiding

I dwelt with him who hides

As you’d expect, those were dark times

The darkness has a way of pulling you in

You are frightened first

But your fright is replaced with thirst

And invincibility muddies perception

You learn to live for sensation

Because vision and noise know not

Know not your crimes

He who hides knows

In the bright he paints a prettier picture

It captured my eye

From which came his dark lullaby

The hook caught my mouth

He took a bite and spelt my name in blood

You may wonder how I ever could

But we adapt

He who hides is known for his guise

Have you seen him remove the mask?

Never! And I ask because you believe in him

He takes it off in the dark

The contrast is stark

Perhaps he thought I had one too.

I painted my face with black

But I had no outer shell to remove.

You see,

I have learned to detest him who hides

Pain may come with sight

But numbing darkness is a prison

Too solemn for a sound mind.

If you wish to hide

Leave yourself behind.

Chapter Seven

I woke up. Steam was rising from my face and all around my body. Soft colors of warm cream and aqua danced above me in the form of sheer cloth. The strangest sensation of warmth soaked into my body as I felt weightless, floating carefree. I realized then I was in an enormous pool of delicious warm water. Hirakesh had one like this in her home, only it was much smaller and was not lined with marble. I was cocooned in a white silk blanket that kept me tethered to one end. Oh yes. I almost died when that sea beast dragged me down to the dark water caves. Was I alive now? Where was I? At the far end of the pool sat a man. I realized then- he was the man who saved my life.
“Where am I?” As I questioned- I was honestly more curious than scared for my life. Its hard to be totally fearful of one who saved you from a savage nightmare. Beauty has a way of disarming defense- he most beautiful man ever to capture my gaze.
“They’re scared of me. You should be too.”
“You saved my life! I am in debt to you.”
“ Look at me Melekah. Tell me, am I not terrifying?”
He was right- he was terrifying. Only what kept my breath quivering was his beauty. He had the white skin. His was not transparent like the others I’ve seen. It was as opaque and solid as the dark around my eyes. He was easily twice my height, enormously broad shoulders, rigid, powerful muscles and a beautiful, long, noble face. All his features were long and noble. His hair was shaved close to the skin- noticeably black. And can you imagine- he had blue eyes? Near violet, with an irridescent intensity of the smoothest of stones. Gleaming, deep blue eyes- they were something to behold.
“Yes.” I whispered.
“Do you know who I am?”
“You. you are, you are my- we are to be married.” I answered poorly for lack of confidence and better phrasing.
“My dear, marriage is between a man and a woman. We are to be committing an abomination.” He stepped into the water, glided over to me, and sat down so his knees were sightly brushing my arm. He untied me from my cocoon, and held his enormous hand above my breast. My chest lit on fire. Great surges of energy pusled trough my veins. My insides were literally glowing. I looked up at him, astonished.
“Weather or not you wish to know, my dear. It is time you learned your future.”
He thusly commenced telling me the history.


            “You have heard Adam’s story told of Satan and the Fallen Angels. You have heard of how God gave man the gift of choice and how sin was born. When God created Man, all of Heaven watched in wonder. We rejoiced with God and were fascinated with your creatures and world. Some grew very jealous of God’s honor and praise you- his creation, openly bestowed upon him. And their hearts turned black and wretched, casting them out of heaven- out of care of their Creator.

            You see, we were given the gift of choice too. And with some of my brothers gone, and God’s continual presence on earth, I let my imagination flourish. My dreams and hopes centered themselves around your world. Though heaven is filled with peace, love, and eternal blessing of God’s provision my curiosity grew towards the organic splendor of time and physicality. Those of us who watched finally learned what it was that intensified our longings. Creatures of Earth have the unique ability to procreate. Humans in particular, had the dual gifts of choice and procreation. The thought that you feeble creatures mirrored God in the ability to create and raise another to your likeness, with your unique essence, was the most beautiful gift we had yet seen. Those like Satan wished to take God’s creation away from him. I wished to create. I wished to experience the spark of life, and the power of creation. I had love in my heart, and choice in my mind, and indeed, God was gracious and let us descend upon earth.

            We talked with your people, sharing the stories of heaven and Gods love and our lives. Only sin infested your species faster than we had anticipated. Consequently affecting us. Many people instantly greeted us with worship. They were amazed with our enormity and luminescence and they called us Gods. Many of us were too greedy to dismiss the worship and set them straight. With the sin of Adam and later generations of sin, God’s physical presence on the earth faded, leaving His communion broken. Of course we wished to fix it. But once again, we found choice was still present.

            Satan and his angels were immediately reattributed for their atrocities. The only manifestation they could achieve on the earth was through possession of animals and humans. They were completely unable to bear a physical presence. His power was strong, but physicality proved to be the essential component of influence.

            So you worshiped us. You gave us food to eat, animals to raise, lands to dictate, people to manipulate, and most importantly- what we wanted. Many of us, myself included, became mildly obsessed with the women of earth. God’s sheer ingenuity of your bodies was nothing short of spectacular. Your mannerisms were foreign and addicting. How you cared for creation, how you infected gatherings with your feminine charm and presence, how you confided and encouraged and wept- was perfection. Not only that, but you worshiped our power and inhuman masculinity- feeding our egos and strengthening our fateful bonds.

            Our powers, knowledge, and bodily domination intrigued mankind. We taught you “magic”. We shared our knowledge about the past and the future. We engaged in healings and incantations and most importantly- creation. Physical pleasures of this world are uniquely satisfying. They are paradoxically insatiable. And we love them. You gracious delicate creatures- women- shared the secrets of copulation.

            The children we created were a uniquely Angelic and Human by design. They were magnificent and we loved them more than anything previous. Everything grew dark from those first moments. We did not know how to raise them. The humans willing to worship us openly abandoned communion with God. And our darlings were raised in the darkness. They were born without light, without knowledge of a creator, without souls. They were dark and beautiful. And although we raised them in our likeness, they were in no likeness of our God, and all of us dwelling in the world grew accustomed to the rapid dissension.

            Everything worsened. Angels and humans alike grew greedy. Their knowledge grew from our powers, and our new physical cravings rapidly intensified. Many of my brightest brothers rampantly engaged in bestiality. Disgusting creatures- huge mutations of air, water, and land creatures all emerged bearing lineage from our otherworldly form. These creatures are even more savage and sordid than we imagined. Those of us who refuted this behavior in disgust tried our best to kill them off- but many took to the quiet caves and hidden forests of the land. These creatures fortunately, have no ability to mix with humans; still, their presence seems to affect mankind all the same.

            Your kind has an interesting proclivity for acceptance. You openly invite, proclaim and adapt to novelty without any hesitance or thought as to what might become of you. Many of us were far too cautious. So we have developed a system. The laws God set fourth for your people were perfect in design, however since his presence had little influence over you, we were looked to for guidance. Our own system is far from holy, but it is elegant.”

            I took this line as an opportunity to include myself. “This is where I come in.”

            “Yes my dear. No longer could we feed our addiction for lusts of humanity with utter disregard towards its effects, we had to plan our actions. We decided that all of us angels would delegate within our own regions. We would pick one woman to learn us. She would become like-minded- in accordance and servitude with our desires. If she lived through it all, she would raise the child. And these children would fight off the mutations. They would govern mankind due to their utter humanity and brutal strength and cunning and God would have no choice but to recognize our own creations were far more beautiful than his own.

            Men would serve us, not as slaves, but as fellow knowledge and pleasure seekers. These are our shadows. With our depths into the future and past and your humanity we realized our world would be less self-destructive. It's a lovely plan really. Only we haven’t been able to solve the depravity of our children. They haven’t souls. I believe you are our hope.”

            “Live through it all?” My mind obviously stopped at the part where he mentioned death. Death was the ultimate taboo. It was so rare. So rare for the young. So rare for women. We didn’t die. Death? Now chills were running down my spine.

            “Why did I tell you to be afraid Meka? For a laugh? My heart aches for all the sweet darlings and their watery graves. I’ll admit our beginnings were series of failed experiments. We had no idea of our sheer strength and your delicate bodies. Many women have died in intercourse. Any death you can imagine- some very brutal and tragic. Women have also died in childbirth- this is equally as common and much more gruesome. It takes a strong frame and sound mind to withstand the childbirth of a superhuman. Some die afterwards from separation heartache, some die in-between from pleasure withdrawals.

            “How could you pick me then?- I may possibly be the most breakable.” My voice quivered and I felt small.

            “Your fragility is the most essential component to your design. It is also your greatest injury. Since the beginning I have gained knowledge and practice on gentility. With the right training you will be ready for birth. And it is your spirit Melekah that I have been searching the whole earth for. Everyone can see the glowing- and your glowing inside is something no woman has had before.”

            “I glow.” I echoed. Yes- I understood now- I glow.  I’m not as dark as I have strived so hard to pretend. I have kept my heart hidden- I have tried to abandon my heart- but those with dark eyes have seen and known the luminous presence within me. I was certain I had forsaken it- but after all- it must still glimmer.

            “Yes. You still have a faint spark in your soul. One only God can craft. One only fueled by one who still believes.”

            “Everyone believes in God.” I flippantly stated. At this point- I realized everything coming out of my mouth was filled with stupidity. How I longed to impress.

            He replied patiently, “Yes but not everyone fills their hopes and desires with him. All have readily filled their hearts with defiance and disloyalty. How else could they willingly serve us? You may have fooled yourself Meka. But take a look my dear and you will still see the pure hope of God fashioned into your heart. You cannot engineer or fake this type of conviction- and once its lost- its lost forever. And so with my discovery of you- it is my strongest wish that our children might be saved.”

            “In what sense?”

            “That they could have souls too, my dear. That they would not slip into nothingness upon death. That they would have choice just as we do. You have no idea of the pain. Seeing your darlings grow gnarled in the darkness, then drift off as a shadow in the night- never to be seen again. I wish for life, and love, and dominion on earth- in physicality and in spirit- for my creation. And maybe, if they arrive at heavens gates- that God would accept them as I do. Perhaps, that the union between heaven and earth would be restored once more- even strengthened.”

            We sat in silence. His head hung down. He was obviously exhausted from intense emotional and mental recollection. His spirit weighted heavy, and the beauty I first recalled from this angel was amplified by his passion and disparity.  We both knew God never exalted acts of sin and defiance- but the love for his conception kept him trying. It was tragic, and I couldn’t help but join in his efforts. I knew the futility that awaited us, however I was evermore accepting and curious. Since a child, I was well accustomed with feelings of impending doom and watery depths.  I felt a pulling magnetism between he and I. It was then that I pulled his chin up with my small hands, tilted his gaze to meet my own- and drew myself into his lap. We held each other their in the warmest embrace I can remember.

            “Thank you, Meka.” He whispered.
            

Don't Be Sad

• 
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  The perfect taste of anguish
  Saturates the toungue
  We, the pained, become addicted
  That flavor. The bitter. The stinging stimulation.
  Shaking as breath escapes.
  I can take more pain.
  As long as I am unhappy I can feel it
  
  
  Yearning so deep
  Continuing in agony
  That the delicious delicacy
  Becomes a threshold offering
  For a beast one inspiring terror
  You know not what it wants
  But you bid it in. It knows your pain
  And you give in
  
  
  To be scared and haunted
  Cold and numb
  Perceptive of monsters
  Is as toxically enslaving
  As a drug
  
  
  If you meet with us
  If you meet us
  Be sure to kindle a fire
  And hide your heart
  Wounded animals in the dark
  Carry disease

Dwelling Dark

We are wicked
We enjoy our condemnation
Beauty
Is blackness
We enjoy the dark
Black, are our hearts
God tried to pierce us
With his light
But we overcame it
With our dark arts

Defiantly we call
Mocking the name
Of God
We lift up
Our dark angels
Drink Death's cup
Become more wicked
We care not
We choose hell

Alchemy

The Invocation of

                                          the Sun and Moon

The Priest and Priestess now exchange stations, so that the Priest is facing East and the Priestess is facing West.

Priest:(Makes Unicursal Hexagram of Sol and invokes:)

I invoke Thee, O Thou Glorious Sun,

To come Thou forth that our Will be done!

Let Thy Light illumine this Temple

Making true the Magick of this Holy Ritual!

Priestess:(Makes Unicursal Hexagram of Luna and invokes:)

I invoke Thee, O Thou Soul of Night,

To come Thou forth that we may Unite!

Let Thy Love work its Mighty Spell

To make as one, both Heaven and Hell!

Mr. Moon Declares Eternal Love

I made an incision into my
Desk with my sharp scalpel blade
And blood oozed out.
I used my bare hands and
Plunged them into the cut,
Then pryed open the hole until
It was large enough to climb into.
I went in the wound and
Felt my way through the slimy
Bloody cave. I saw the light and
Felt wind meet my wet flesh.
I tumbled dow off a cliff and
Fell off of it for five years.
I often fell asleep and dreampt of land and pools of stars.

One day I woke up,
Smacked the surface of a whale.
I rode him and he sailed to the moon
While I sang him lullabys.
I finally met the moon.
He declaired his love for me
So we danced on clouds
Around ribbons of dawn
Through the playful child stars
Then,
I married him.

Love Stolen by the Moon

Mr. Moon I cry out to you in sorrow
Yes the pain consumes
My bones are hollow
Seeing as how I have quietly bleed out
Yes. Had I the strength to shout
I'd do it to no end
Mr. Moon, you are my dearest friend
Tell me why it must be so?
I loved him dearly and true
I knew him through and through
But my weary eyes grow pale
Affection grows stale
Leaving mine own heart left to rot.
I was convicted to stay bright
Just as you illuminate the night
Now my flame quivers and is hushed
Say it, if you must
Only softer, Mr. Moon
I've given up on mortality it seems
Life walks in the shadow of a dream
But I'd daresay I love you
To the depths of eternity
You'll always be my Mr. Moon

2011 Recap

1. Favorite Albums
----- Idk…. music, was, lacking this year. I listened to a lot, but none threw me to the ground rapt in bliss. At least none released in 2011.

2. Favorite Fashion
I love textures and nude colors.

3. Accomplishments
-- lost some weight 15lbs it sucked and I'm pumped
-- good grades yeee
-- partner of the quarter
-- raise
-- can do da splits
-- can two step
-- learnin da drumz
-- first boyfriend
-- first break up

4. Favorite reads
Uzumaki
i didn't read a lot this year

5. Favorite words
Succumb
Substantiate
Satiated
Punishing

6. Favorite movies
Nope

Synopsis. 2011 was a year of firsts for this little girl. She learned a whole lot more than she bargained for from this world, but all in all (although often times feels even more puzzled than before) it was a great year. Time seems very cyclical, friendship is cyclical, and the cycle of life is something worth being a part of. This girl is growing up, but she knows she's always going to be the same little girl. Impact. Thats literally the one word she clings to when she thinks of this year. Positivity, having fun, and going for it. Its cliche but thats all she's got. She goes hard, she thinks hard. Meaning. This girl has been coming to realize that the intrinsic need to define and create meaning from the world around her is a need worth pursuing. Her heart is just the springboard for a flowering life. She learned what's in her heart, and is excited with what she's going to do with it.