He's been sick of this place for a while now. There's nothing left for him here. His talent and inspiration and motivation are wasting away and I know it. But I can't let him go. I can't let him leave me alone. Not after all we've been through. Not after everything we've fought to accomplish. Not after all the times he's been there for me. I've cycled through so many friends, I've watched so many of them leave, and I refuse to let him become one more ghost of my past.
You can't go. Oh, god, you can't leave me. Please, I'm begging you to stay. I'm not ready for this. Now can't be the right time. Just give me more time. Give it more time. Please don't leave me. Can't you see? I'll die without you. I haven't the strength to carry your legacy on in my heart.
Do you remember when I died before? It was you who picked the pieces of my shattered heart up off the floor, and showed me how to forge a new, monstrous creation out of the wreckage. Do you remember the blood pacts we swore? Do you remember the spells we recited? Do you remember how we found comfort in each other's loneliness? Do you remember how our powers grew?
My mind and body are shutting down on separate, chaotic paths of destruction. I feel the earth spinning, and we descend, like a watery dream, painting circles in my blood, clutching the curtain, lowering voices to a hush... don't let them try to patch me up.
That was you. That was us. Two years ago. Lazarus.
Lazarus- Beyond a best friend. Beyond a sister. Beyond a father. Far beyond a lover. What we have, what you gave me, in yourself, is far from what I could have hoped for. It's done nothing but grow. You have been my muse for three years now. Lazarus, my necromancer, my shaman in the night.
I have survived your departure. You have grown in brilliance and power and chaotic dismay, but you've been kept at bay. Two years ago, I thought it would all change. My heart broke and scattered a million times but it healed and we became stronger- perhaps- in preparation for this day.
Today is the day when you break free. Today marks the day when you will truly begin to actualize the gore and glory you were destined for. I have been selfish and covetous of you for two years now and I can't hold you back any longer. This is your step towards what has always been yours to claim- I will one day meet you there. Do not reach back into the past for the haunting love of us tiny ghosts. Don't look back. Only those who have power and passion that reflect yours will have the strength to reach into the future, to reach out to you. All other ties are ropes pulling you back into a decaying shrine- its beautiful, but empty and void of any magic without you. Do not exalt it.
I love you Lazarus. I will not break and crumble and fall in your absence. We have things to do in the future. You have things to do in the now. They are of paramount importance. You have been through too much, you've accomplished too much, you are becoming far to splendorous for it to be tainted by any shallow pangs of past sorrow that those who stay here may bring. Do not count me among them. Keep shape shifting towards the future my truest love, and I will always be at your side.
This is not goodbye.
Your my forever boy.
I am your forever girl, so long as you'll have me.
- Ivy
