5.06.2013

Lucidity


To die in slumber would be a horrible death
Have you ever slept with me?
Did you check?
If I pulled back the blinds while you were lying fast asleep
I wouldn't recall my deeds
But the monsters conversing with me, forcefully
Would concur, indeed
That you haven't seen me sleep
Let alone climb into my dreams

Under spells of slumber and bodily chemistry
Suppressed under sleep nearing REM
I'm too asleep to set myself free
These walls have caged me in
Supernatural superstition exists beyond reality
Where men's faulty minds roam free
It's dangerous for an introvert like you
Like me

Lucidity is power
Control the mind's alternate realm
Embrace superstition
Shake the fabric of time reality confines us in
Stare at the empty mirror
Fight to stay awake
Don't be a helpless victim
Left to die alone in your own dreamscape

5.01.2013

BE A FREE THINKER

I believe in everyone retaining the rights to their own ideas, beliefs, processing methods, and dreams. In that, free thinking and open dialogue should be essential in preserving these rights. They should also be a pleasure and a point for personal growth and development for those engaging in such dialogue. However, this notion of collective individualism and free thinking has become a point of contingency impeding the very dialogue it should induce! This, unfortunately, comes from categorizing people into "open-minded" and "closed minded"groups.

Often times, people learn that I am a Christian. Either they have known me for a while and I share this fact with them or I tell them in initial greetings. After they have learned this fact, people begin to assess my behaviors in a different way. Generally what people tell me is "I can't believe you're a christian!" Or, "Wow, it's cool that you're so open minded." If they're christian, I usually hear "Its so nice to work with/be friends with someone who thinks like me/shares my values." While I am deeply flattered by these generous assessments, I also have been challenged by them.

The idea and principle of being open minded is wholesome and positive. I am all for it. I like to consider myself a free thinker. But the context in which the terms open and closed minded are used is what troubles me. People who call me "open minded" have an implicit attachment to the term "for someone who is religious." I can understand from a shallow analysis that religion has produced behaviors in poeple (in many cases) resembling group, limiteid thinking, behaviors that many attach "closed minded" to. But why has this idea of "closed minded" people been soley ascribed to those in religion?

Everyone, everyone on this planet has societal, market, communal, and political forces shaping and pushing their views on everything! Who can truly say that every decision they have made that shapes their worldview has been made after careful and equal analysis of all opposing veiwpoints, void of all environmental bias? Not one person can argue this.

With that being said, it is fair to conclude that everyone has a certain degree of personal bias and social influence that predisposes them to some ideas quicker than others. So what behavior must take place in order for an individual to be seen as open minded? Well, essentially what people want to see is an open communication channel on worldview and lifestyle decisions. This is demonstrated through conversation. If there are disagreements between two person's individual beliefs, ideally, what would happen would be for each person to listen to the other, discuss reasons for disagreement, and see if any value can be added or changed after this discussion to each person's worldviews.

In order to be open minded, a person should be resectful of all opinions and lifestyles of each individual. However those who associate themselves with the "open minded" are close minded to "close minded" individuals and are close minded in their treatment and dialogues with them! Issues like gay marriage, abortion, healthcare, religious freedom and the like are prime playgrounds for blame passing and judgement. For example, if someone has an opinion that abortion is wrong in all cases other than rape and incess, they are seen as "close minded" and are not given the chance to open up in dialogue with the person of a differing viewpoint.

Just because a person is religious does not mean they can't engage in fair, analytical inquiry of their opinions. Just because a person is not religious does not mean they are inheritantly openminded. Everyone has the capacity to accept and refute ideas at different levels of engagement and cognition.

SO. I propose something else for those of us who think ourselves to be openminded and free thinkers. Rather than using this description to label, segregate, and judge others, we should use it to assess ourselves. If you truly want to be open minded, you must first decide, not necessicarily that everyone's opinions and reasons thusly are valid, but that every human being is valid. Every person you come in contact with is an individual, a member of humanity, and should be treated as someone worth value. Even on a basic human level- regardless of how irrational a person may seem- they are to be valued. After all, if you're the open minded one, you should be the one who can accept their differences and realize that they are part of the same species as you.

If you are able to treat people with this decent acceptance level, you should then be able to recognize their opinions and differences as learning oppertunites that help create value and meaning in your own life. If you are open minded, then every new person and disagreement should be readily welcomed as a chance to learn something from someone else. I'm not saying that you go out and immediately strike up conversation with people about heated topics every chance you get. I'm saying that you should embrace these conversations as they come into you're life.

No, its not easy. Yes, some people will get on your nerves. But the key to having an open mind is not trying to change others, its learning where they're coming from. Learn the congition processes and environmental forces shaping their worldview. Most importantly, being open minded means listening! Be a good listener. Let people speak. You don't have to agree with everything they're saying, you just have to show them that you respect them as a human being, and that you care enough about their opinion to hear what they have to say. Then, you may start to see people opening up their minds and show you what's working behind them. Prove people wrong! Show them love and caring they would never imagine in the world of debate and then you will not only start to see more clarity in your own lign of thought, but you will help the wheels start to turn in the minds of whom you listen.

If they don't want to hear your opinion, fine. That is their own choice. But respect them anyways. Know that as an open minded person, you are secure enough in your own reasoning that you don't need to superimpose it on all who disagree with you. If the thought of engaging in dialogue with people "way different" and "way too religious" for you is revolting, well, maybe you're not as open minded as you think. Being open minded is about releasing your pride and contempt for people of the world and discovering new life and expansive ideas that infuse meaning into your own line of thought. It is an exciting journey and process, but should never be used as a term to degrade and condemn others.

We aren't living in a world of open minded and closed minded thinkers. We're living in a world of people with brains and hearts and the oppertunity to discover and share them.

Manifesto

I keep my identity hidden as long as needed
Ambiguity is my closest friend
For now
I contradict any superstitions imposed
And keep my friends in the corner confined
I wish to burst fourth in freedom
In freedom release my soul from chains
These chains are not of my own invention
But rather
Designed by one who wishes me to remain
Undamaged
Perhaps I'll go insane

Until someone proves himself worthy
Of the sword that can cut my chains
Its imbedded in my soul and its composition heavy
But I have heard it is worth the stains
That make men bloody
I can endure the pain
Of freedom
Perhaps he'll see past my heavy breathing
And understand our lives'
Are weightless

Perhaps he'll dance with my alter egos
And introduce masks of his own
Perhaps he'll decode the superstitions
And cast me far away from this throne
This prison
Imagined love is dangerous and deadly
It wears away at his soul
But if he dives deep into the waters
Of eternity
He'll wakeup rebirthed and know
The metaphors
Are orchestrated in the garden of a lonely home
I need him

This need takes many forms
Like I do
It shapeshifts like those moonlit nights
But if he can endure his soul
And lusty passions
He won't wake up alone
Every hungry night
I do not need him now but I will need him soon
Perhaps I will practice flight
Until then
Perhaps I'll just die

4.22.2013

Part-Time Love

The soul and the heart may be attached
But they are not the same
Not in my case
Hopefully
Not in yours for that matter
Hopefully
We all gave up our hearts
700 years ago
Evolution or something
Anyways

If you were to address the matter of love
And its rightful place
Who is to truly know
If it dwells in the heart or soul
I'm hoping both
In my case
Though I gave up my heart
And you, yours, long ago
There must still be love
In our souls
Some love would be displaced
By our detached hearts
But some can glow
In the part of us we know least
In the part
You would never own

In the part
You can't give away
On clear or rainy days
When you feel like giving up
When you don't want to feel
When you beg for pain
I think I'll love again
Even without my heart
If its all the same
To you

4.18.2013

Fear and Love

Mr. Moon,
I havent been home in years
I've been dragging the tiny skulls of my fears
Behind my dusty back
Tied round my neck by
Tiny strings
Everywhere I roamed
They attached them to me

I miss you
I mimic longing looks of love
Deep love
"What?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
I don't know
I do know
I knew it was you behind his eyes

And his eyes
Not quite his, but almost, still
I haven't been home in years
Those who know
Of those strings with little bones
Think me silly
Better of them to think that
Then to have them know

Of the debt I owe
To you- I took your heart
I left it at home
And until I find mine
And pay you my soul
I'll keep collecting
These tiny fearsome bones

4.09.2013

Dreams Make for Poetic Dissonance

Outside this building there was


Two huge trees and a water system

With large piping connecting to a shallow

Pool of water

Something happened and She got stuck

In the piping but He went to go find

Her



They both disappeared. She showed

Up about an hour later but we still

Couldn’t find Him. Then we found a

Body stuffed in one of those pipes-

Still no Him.

It was some ten year old kid. Then

A lot of kids were

Climbing on the largest tree. It was huge

And had a wide trunk.



I started looking at a narrow space between

The leggy roots

Of the tree

And the mucky ground

I saw a limp foot. It was Him-

His body was pinned down, face buried

In the mud.



I asked someone if He was still alive

They said “Probably not”

We pulled Him out

And starred at Him for a few minutes

He finally came alive

I stared into His empty eyes
We didn’t say anything.

4.02.2013

Why I hate Dogs

I keep my nonperishable groceries in a plastic bag on the floor in my room
They say you turn into your mother
I am horrified of this truth,
And justify my actions:
-She'll eat all of it- it would be a waste of the healthy food I'm trying to fuel my body with
-I used my own money its mine
-I refuse to eat her unhealthy food and be part of the reality she's superimposed on our household
-Its not the same as when she hides cookies in the drawer in her room

So today I got home and found urine on this plastic bag
From her dog Oliver
I hate him
He is smart, and when I tell him "Oliver, I hate you"- he knows.
I hate him so much
I tried to keep my door shut
But I saw his action and it filled my heart with total rage
I threw out the bag and my precious food

I used to yell at him and he would tuck his tail between his legs
Now I've given up
Why does he do it?
- Its not that I really care- Still...
Is it that he has mutual canine hatred for me?
Is it out of his loyalty to my mother- some cruel demonstration of retribution?
Is it his way of telling me he is superior?

No.
He's just a dog.
Though he hates me, he's probably just marking his territory.
I take no responsibility for his obvious lack of better training.
I imagine him pushing my door open with his snout
Snooping around for food, and finding the bag.
As he's standing there, urinating, he hears the pitter patter of his bodily fluid
On the plastic bag.
The sound soothes him.
And he eventually retreats back to her throne.