5.27.2011
Difficult for Laughter
Coming out cold
Your eyes heavy with ice
The rope is still wrapped around your ankle
And your stomach, bottomless
Your mind comes back from the distance
No, still far away
Just as soon as you beckon light in
Darkness returns
No No No
Quick, sink your fingers into the ground
Hold on tight if you can
With that rope they'll pull you under
Under again
Only God knows when you'll return
But you're too far to remember
I've seen it before
Why do you think I'm not here?
5.23.2011
I Guess I'm Fine
How could you make me cry?
Didn’t you know it would only hurt my feelings;
Pretending like you could care less
Telling everyone nothing ever matters…
When do it I still wouldn’t dream of leaving
But it makes me want to cry.
How could you forget?
I’m only here because I want to be with you, Love
Because you deserve honor and sweetness, Love
But sometimes I need it to.
And I tell you I’ll never be angry, really.
But sometimes I want to cry.
How could you understand?
That there’s a whole life waiting just to live, Love
A whole part of you waiting just to take charge, Love
A part that looks just like a man
The man who could honor and defend me;
The man who hates to see me cry.
5.08.2011
Pinning the Heart's Wings
Holding a heartbeat so very still
Like the gentle pressure of a thumb
On a bird's wing-
It's not very cruel, but still.
When I'm nervous to the point
Of heart attack
You don't react, but instead
Absorb the blow,
Reminding me to be slow to anger.
But my heart can't take much more restrain.
I'd much rather
Unravel the chord and know
What it is you're keeping
In that slow, gentle hand.
Like the gentle pressure of a thumb
On a bird's wing-
It's not very cruel, but still.
When I'm nervous to the point
Of heart attack
You don't react, but instead
Absorb the blow,
Reminding me to be slow to anger.
But my heart can't take much more restrain.
I'd much rather
Unravel the chord and know
What it is you're keeping
In that slow, gentle hand.
5.04.2011
cute is one of my favorite words. I use it as an adjective, heavily, to describe anything and everything I deem thusly. However, I think sometimes it's approprite to reflect and analyze why we say the things we do. It's a good exercise. That, and it was brought to my attention that the way I use the word doesn't make sense.
So, I'm trying to derive my usage of the word cute in a systematic, less stream-of-conscious manner.
american english dictionary definition of cute: 1. Attractive in a pretty or endearing way. informal sexually attractive. 2. informal affectedly or superficially clever.
urban dictionary definition of cute: 1.A girl who is lovely and dreamy and cuddly and shy and beautiful and awwww *druels* 2.1) used to describe little kids doing funny things
So, I'm trying to derive my usage of the word cute in a systematic, less stream-of-conscious manner.
american english dictionary definition of cute: 1. Attractive in a pretty or endearing way. informal sexually attractive. 2. informal affectedly or superficially clever.
urban dictionary definition of cute: 1.A girl who is lovely and dreamy and cuddly and shy and beautiful and awwww *druels* 2.1) used to describe little kids doing funny things
2) someone that is attrative in an innocent way
3) used to describe someone or an act that's sweet, nice
4) something that you just want to squeeze, or keep
5) used to refer to something little, or related to being young
6) someone doing something silly, special
3) used to describe someone or an act that's sweet, nice
4) something that you just want to squeeze, or keep
5) used to refer to something little, or related to being young
6) someone doing something silly, special
7) the baby is so cute when she dances in her mom's high heels
9) it was so cute when johnny gave me a stuffed ewok and lolly pops from disney land!
10) that little puppy is so cute that i want to have it near me in my pocket because it makes me happy.
11) that pink, sparkly fairy princess dress was very cute!
12) it was cute when he told me that he had a secret, and then told me that he loved me in my ear
10) that little puppy is so cute that i want to have it near me in my pocket because it makes me happy.
11) that pink, sparkly fairy princess dress was very cute!
12) it was cute when he told me that he had a secret, and then told me that he loved me in my ear
oxford english dictionary definition of cute: 1. Acute, clever, keen-witted, sharp, shrewd. 2. (orig. U.S. colloq. and Schoolboy slang.) Used of things in same way as cunning Now in general colloq. use, applied to people as well as things, with the sense ‘attractive, pretty, charming’; also, ‘attractive in a mannered way’.
SO..... with these definitions in mind, I had a pretty good idea of where I was deriving my usage of the word cute. I definately don't use it to describe anything clever or cunning, which was a distinct description given by both the OED and the AED. If you look at Urban dictionary however, many of the ways in which cute were used were ways I have used the word. I then realized other important words to focus on were attractive and endearing. Especially in regards to mannerisms, rather than physical appearance necessarily.
attractive- pleasing or appealing to the senses.
endearing- cause to be loved or to be liked.
SO.... I've been using the word to describe things that are endearing, attractive, but in an innocent and socially humble way. To be defined as "cute" by me is a very good thing. It means your mannors and behaviors exibit something that has a beautiful, attractive quality all its own. Also, they have to have a general air of helplessness.
(side note) It's really hard to say how the word jumped from being clever, and cunning, to attractive and endearing.... hmmmmm. INTERESTING.
this is cute.
5.02.2011
We talk about the destruction of earth and how God will smite the land in the end of times. We destroy our earth every day (this isn't going to be an environmental conversation) with almost everything we do to keep living. We die. Everyone. Some in more painful ways than others. Death and destruction. My thoughts constantly come back to the fascination of the flood.
Really, it's a beautiful, tragic, unreal idea. We're taught of the flood when we're young and accept the concept, then forget to address when we're older.It's such a poetic story really. That god would choose to purify and rebirth the whole earth from it's folly and wickedness. I'm going to paint some pictures that have replayed in my mind.
Imagine you're living in a place swarming with people. The beautiful lush earth is covered with prosperity. Prosperity in populations of animals, people, food, land. And it's really dark. Really really dark. Everyone is wild, they all do as they please. And the funny thing about them is they know the flood is coming. They don't care at all. They actually have made a physical stand against god. They welcome the flood, and death, and with the knowledge of their impending doom, they drink into the futile lusts of their privileged lives. It only gets darker with the brooding clouds, brooding massive storms covering the entirety of earths surface.
Water is pouring, and with each darkening day the stagnant pooling fluid becomes viscus, coating the people, the land, the plants until only shapes are distinguishable. And their eyes stay luminouscand yellow. Darting, lit up by the prospects of darkness. They rejoiced and praised their coatings, embracing the despairity and inhaling the dark waters.
Then, something happened. The land soaked in trepid waters gave way. Weather from the stresses of new mass, or from some cosmic disruption, the fertile, green, drowning land broke and out flowed massive bodies of boiling water. Water channeled under our precious earth maintaining the land and prosperity that they indulged in. Rapidly the fluid level climbed. Faster than the people could retreat, or swim in. They fell in the waters. Becoming a boiling stew of mountainous dirt, greenery, and bodies. No light could be seen anywhere. Silent. Dark. Perpetually deep waters. The earth that once was illuminated by the holy spirit, by life, by the heavens, was gone. Nothing but silence.
Something else happened. When all was still and silent, the dark, clouded heavens cleared, and shook violently. It was as if the clouds themselves broke, and water didn't rain, it fell, in massive sheets. Clean and heavy, almost instantaneous. And perhaps on the the arc, when the water settled and light returned, they gained courage to step outside.
They saw nothing but light. The clean, unbelievable world of water reflected the suns light in a clear sky. And when they stepped closer, they could see bodies, countless bodies floating or sinking peacefully in the stillness of a watery, cleansing death. As the dirt separated and evaporation slowly took place, the bodies slowly surfaced. It was unbearable for the boat members to step outside anymore. All they could see was a endless horizon of clean, wrinkled, bloated bodies....
Dark. But this is kinda how I think of it, at the briefest visual narration.
Really, it's a beautiful, tragic, unreal idea. We're taught of the flood when we're young and accept the concept, then forget to address when we're older.It's such a poetic story really. That god would choose to purify and rebirth the whole earth from it's folly and wickedness. I'm going to paint some pictures that have replayed in my mind.
Imagine you're living in a place swarming with people. The beautiful lush earth is covered with prosperity. Prosperity in populations of animals, people, food, land. And it's really dark. Really really dark. Everyone is wild, they all do as they please. And the funny thing about them is they know the flood is coming. They don't care at all. They actually have made a physical stand against god. They welcome the flood, and death, and with the knowledge of their impending doom, they drink into the futile lusts of their privileged lives. It only gets darker with the brooding clouds, brooding massive storms covering the entirety of earths surface.
Water is pouring, and with each darkening day the stagnant pooling fluid becomes viscus, coating the people, the land, the plants until only shapes are distinguishable. And their eyes stay luminouscand yellow. Darting, lit up by the prospects of darkness. They rejoiced and praised their coatings, embracing the despairity and inhaling the dark waters.
Then, something happened. The land soaked in trepid waters gave way. Weather from the stresses of new mass, or from some cosmic disruption, the fertile, green, drowning land broke and out flowed massive bodies of boiling water. Water channeled under our precious earth maintaining the land and prosperity that they indulged in. Rapidly the fluid level climbed. Faster than the people could retreat, or swim in. They fell in the waters. Becoming a boiling stew of mountainous dirt, greenery, and bodies. No light could be seen anywhere. Silent. Dark. Perpetually deep waters. The earth that once was illuminated by the holy spirit, by life, by the heavens, was gone. Nothing but silence.
Something else happened. When all was still and silent, the dark, clouded heavens cleared, and shook violently. It was as if the clouds themselves broke, and water didn't rain, it fell, in massive sheets. Clean and heavy, almost instantaneous. And perhaps on the the arc, when the water settled and light returned, they gained courage to step outside.
They saw nothing but light. The clean, unbelievable world of water reflected the suns light in a clear sky. And when they stepped closer, they could see bodies, countless bodies floating or sinking peacefully in the stillness of a watery, cleansing death. As the dirt separated and evaporation slowly took place, the bodies slowly surfaced. It was unbearable for the boat members to step outside anymore. All they could see was a endless horizon of clean, wrinkled, bloated bodies....
Dark. But this is kinda how I think of it, at the briefest visual narration.
4.30.2011
How to solve all of America's problems
Here's why I don't get into politics- I just see everything really cut and dry; frankly, if I was in charge we wouldn't be having any issues right now.
1. Energy crisis
Women aren't allowed to drive. Electric lighting should be illegal too. Only skylights.
2. Low voting turnout rate
Let people vote for others who don't vote. Here, I trust you to make the right vote man!
3. Trouble in the Middle East
Pull out all troops. Invest a fraction of money in nuclear weapons and boarder control.
4. Federal Deficit
Sacrifice the top 5 wealthiest men to reduce the deficit. Quit buying oil from foreign countries and use our own. Put a 5 dollar cap on campaign spending.
5. Dependence on foreign goods
All the women who can't drive should make sustainable gardens. Or another trade like making computers.
6. Healthcare
Um, no government healthcare whatsoever. Just perpetual food rationing.
7. Market competition
First country to build the first time machine. Go back in time and steal all the money from ancient world powers.
8. Taxes
Taxes won't exist. Government will set up a direct barter and trade system.
9. Immigration
Make everyone who comes in pay a ten dollar fee.
10. Any other issues you can think of? I probably have a good solution.
1. Energy crisis
Women aren't allowed to drive. Electric lighting should be illegal too. Only skylights.
2. Low voting turnout rate
Let people vote for others who don't vote. Here, I trust you to make the right vote man!
3. Trouble in the Middle East
Pull out all troops. Invest a fraction of money in nuclear weapons and boarder control.
4. Federal Deficit
Sacrifice the top 5 wealthiest men to reduce the deficit. Quit buying oil from foreign countries and use our own. Put a 5 dollar cap on campaign spending.
5. Dependence on foreign goods
All the women who can't drive should make sustainable gardens. Or another trade like making computers.
6. Healthcare
Um, no government healthcare whatsoever. Just perpetual food rationing.
7. Market competition
First country to build the first time machine. Go back in time and steal all the money from ancient world powers.
8. Taxes
Taxes won't exist. Government will set up a direct barter and trade system.
9. Immigration
Make everyone who comes in pay a ten dollar fee.
10. Any other issues you can think of? I probably have a good solution.
4.27.2011
People.
People. People are well- well they're funny. Starbucks gives ample opportunity to witness this phenomenon, however instead of going on a routine tangent about the nonconformities of my place of work, I simply mention the fact that I'm at a Starbucks in order to give you a visual frame of reference. Today, I am a customer. One that doesn't really feel like thinking about coffee and its imperialist suppressor.
Ok, lets start this off with a bang. People are interesting. Some people are interesting because of their attention to other PEOPLE. I'm sitting outside and my sister comes to join me and some friends, informing us that a man moved from outside, to inside, to right near the restroom all during her trip to a location lastly mentioned. We move inside, and he's sitting precariously in a chair, adjacent to mine, doing nothing but sipping his free ice water. Watching. Sitting. Crunching on those ice cubes while he's smiling, making non-verbal chit-chat with his crazy eyes with anyone stressed out enough to accidentally engage in. Fidgety, and unoccupied, it would seem this man has better places to go, better things to do, anything else really- but he keeps looking at you. hmmmmm.... interesting habits man.
People are interesting. Boy, you've got it going on don't ya? Barret, curly blond hair in a slicked back pony tail, that matches your slick mustache. Any guy with that sparse of facial shrubbery would be too embarrassed to chance such a radical proclamation of manliness, but no one is going to stop you hot stuff! There is a hearth right next to the chair I'm sitting in. Did I say right next to me? Well, I meant he sat down maybe a foot and a half from my chair. Mind you what he was sitting on was more of a ledge than a designated seat. Hey he went for it. He was struggling for eye contact, the littlest cue of recognition, but did I give it to him? No. Sorry bro, I think I learned my lesson from the last guy.
People are interesting. People apparently own public property and feel the right to exercise their ownership authority and cast disgruntled looks and flippant remarks towards the rude, peasant folk who dare tread on their precious land. I got here first. I needed the plug to keep the power running on my computer. I know what you are doing is probably more important than what I'm doing (I'm writing about you, muhahaha) but really, you know how to hurt a girls feelings. I was just trying to get a spot by the fireplace man! But, definitely, I now understand that those who dress like they came from a business funeral should always get the best spot at a coffee shop. Inttteresssting.
People, well, hey they're funny. This girl chomps pretty hard on her gum. She slowly and calmly opens the brownie container, and with the best form of inertia I've ever witnessed, proceeds to plate them. How could that take anyone five minutes? How come God didn't smite you right there with an unexpected rush? You, just keep that unemotional face right where it is, your mind perfectly fixed in vacancy, and do your thing. You have perfected everyone's ideal job situation- mindlessly working. Not a thought comes or goes when you step in the zone, and before you know it, you're off the clock and ready to continue an unaffected existence somewhere outside of the blue-collar, neo-coffee-communist society.
People are funny. I though someone was in my house today. I called my dad and he broke out the gun. I saw a notorious funny person driving suspiciously close to my campus. Some people get really grumpy because thats when they're happiest. Some people are really good at giving looks. Some people are really happy. Some people like making nontraditional familial associations with others. Some people imagine they're foxes. Some people are foxes. Some people are bad with direct directional directions. Some people don't like to show off their intelligence with their apparent vector and chemical knowledge of abstract curriculum.
But people are funny. So we laugh.
Ok, lets start this off with a bang. People are interesting. Some people are interesting because of their attention to other PEOPLE. I'm sitting outside and my sister comes to join me and some friends, informing us that a man moved from outside, to inside, to right near the restroom all during her trip to a location lastly mentioned. We move inside, and he's sitting precariously in a chair, adjacent to mine, doing nothing but sipping his free ice water. Watching. Sitting. Crunching on those ice cubes while he's smiling, making non-verbal chit-chat with his crazy eyes with anyone stressed out enough to accidentally engage in. Fidgety, and unoccupied, it would seem this man has better places to go, better things to do, anything else really- but he keeps looking at you. hmmmmm.... interesting habits man.
People are interesting. Boy, you've got it going on don't ya? Barret, curly blond hair in a slicked back pony tail, that matches your slick mustache. Any guy with that sparse of facial shrubbery would be too embarrassed to chance such a radical proclamation of manliness, but no one is going to stop you hot stuff! There is a hearth right next to the chair I'm sitting in. Did I say right next to me? Well, I meant he sat down maybe a foot and a half from my chair. Mind you what he was sitting on was more of a ledge than a designated seat. Hey he went for it. He was struggling for eye contact, the littlest cue of recognition, but did I give it to him? No. Sorry bro, I think I learned my lesson from the last guy.
People are interesting. People apparently own public property and feel the right to exercise their ownership authority and cast disgruntled looks and flippant remarks towards the rude, peasant folk who dare tread on their precious land. I got here first. I needed the plug to keep the power running on my computer. I know what you are doing is probably more important than what I'm doing (I'm writing about you, muhahaha) but really, you know how to hurt a girls feelings. I was just trying to get a spot by the fireplace man! But, definitely, I now understand that those who dress like they came from a business funeral should always get the best spot at a coffee shop. Inttteresssting.
People, well, hey they're funny. This girl chomps pretty hard on her gum. She slowly and calmly opens the brownie container, and with the best form of inertia I've ever witnessed, proceeds to plate them. How could that take anyone five minutes? How come God didn't smite you right there with an unexpected rush? You, just keep that unemotional face right where it is, your mind perfectly fixed in vacancy, and do your thing. You have perfected everyone's ideal job situation- mindlessly working. Not a thought comes or goes when you step in the zone, and before you know it, you're off the clock and ready to continue an unaffected existence somewhere outside of the blue-collar, neo-coffee-communist society.
People are funny. I though someone was in my house today. I called my dad and he broke out the gun. I saw a notorious funny person driving suspiciously close to my campus. Some people get really grumpy because thats when they're happiest. Some people are really good at giving looks. Some people are really happy. Some people like making nontraditional familial associations with others. Some people imagine they're foxes. Some people are foxes. Some people are bad with direct directional directions. Some people don't like to show off their intelligence with their apparent vector and chemical knowledge of abstract curriculum.
But people are funny. So we laugh.
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