Fear and Love

Mr. Moon,
I havent been home in years
I've been dragging the tiny skulls of my fears
Behind my dusty back
Tied round my neck by
Tiny strings
Everywhere I roamed
They attached them to me

I miss you
I mimic longing looks of love
Deep love
"What?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
I don't know
I do know
I knew it was you behind his eyes

And his eyes
Not quite his, but almost, still
I haven't been home in years
Those who know
Of those strings with little bones
Think me silly
Better of them to think that
Then to have them know

Of the debt I owe
To you- I took your heart
I left it at home
And until I find mine
And pay you my soul
I'll keep collecting
These tiny fearsome bones

Dreams Make for Poetic Dissonance

Outside this building there was


Two huge trees and a water system

With large piping connecting to a shallow

Pool of water

Something happened and She got stuck

In the piping but He went to go find

Her



They both disappeared. She showed

Up about an hour later but we still

Couldn’t find Him. Then we found a

Body stuffed in one of those pipes-

Still no Him.

It was some ten year old kid. Then

A lot of kids were

Climbing on the largest tree. It was huge

And had a wide trunk.



I started looking at a narrow space between

The leggy roots

Of the tree

And the mucky ground

I saw a limp foot. It was Him-

His body was pinned down, face buried

In the mud.



I asked someone if He was still alive

They said “Probably not”

We pulled Him out

And starred at Him for a few minutes

He finally came alive

I stared into His empty eyes
We didn’t say anything.

Why I hate Dogs

I keep my nonperishable groceries in a plastic bag on the floor in my room
They say you turn into your mother
I am horrified of this truth,
And justify my actions:
-She'll eat all of it- it would be a waste of the healthy food I'm trying to fuel my body with
-I used my own money its mine
-I refuse to eat her unhealthy food and be part of the reality she's superimposed on our household
-Its not the same as when she hides cookies in the drawer in her room

So today I got home and found urine on this plastic bag
From her dog Oliver
I hate him
He is smart, and when I tell him "Oliver, I hate you"- he knows.
I hate him so much
I tried to keep my door shut
But I saw his action and it filled my heart with total rage
I threw out the bag and my precious food

I used to yell at him and he would tuck his tail between his legs
Now I've given up
Why does he do it?
- Its not that I really care- Still...
Is it that he has mutual canine hatred for me?
Is it out of his loyalty to my mother- some cruel demonstration of retribution?
Is it his way of telling me he is superior?

No.
He's just a dog.
Though he hates me, he's probably just marking his territory.
I take no responsibility for his obvious lack of better training.
I imagine him pushing my door open with his snout
Snooping around for food, and finding the bag.
As he's standing there, urinating, he hears the pitter patter of his bodily fluid
On the plastic bag.
The sound soothes him.
And he eventually retreats back to her throne.

Tea Time

Pining for the last drops of oolong
My tounge laps up the nectar
I wipe my chin
A muscle memory
My mind drools as I savor it slow
Swimming in pools of chinese tea
You- swimming naked
Taste my oolong lips
Sweet and fresh
Take my chin from me
Regurgitate the salivation
Trickling from my wanton mind
Savor the drops of oolong
Pine for the delicate flavor
There's one drop left
Share your rare nectar
With the tea master

Jaded Mantra

Living attached to the echos of a 1990's mantra
"Why Care"
Inundated in consumerism
Longing to detach from the soul
Since infancy
Never deserving to live thousands of years like the men of old
In a cigarette society
Live fast and absurdly destructive
Vastly obscure- comforting
Ambition drives the mortal body to unforetold magic
by men of old
The kingdom of death built
Treacherous, if granted more years

The musician is kept sad and detached
Sorrow without reason
Swimming in stagnant shallow pools of unforgiven tears
Swimming? No, floating
Pinned beneath countless warm bodies
The type of warmth evoking vomit
The musician is kept sad and cold
What is he singing of?
Is it a past relationship, his label, his friends, his lover…
They keep his words pained
It should have grown old

What a horrendous glimpse of the future
For the men of old
Teenagers angst is beautiful and wrong
Society lost her teeth long ago
Fighting and change- constant penetration
Left her numb and cold
She will let her teenage children take their lives
As they echo that ancient 1990's mantra
"Why Care"
Ribbons of truth are too permanent
For the young mortal body
Too resounding for the immortal soul

Post-Teen Angst

Will you come along with me tonight?
I want to get angsty
My life is great and my future is bright
You are young and you are full of life
But I think we can act dead inside
It'll only take five minutes
I'll paint my eyes black and throw on a hood
Turn my smile off and scowl at the world

Smoke this cigarette with me
Let me drive fast, loud and dark
Roll down your window for good shivers
Lets pretend with sinister whispers
That our lives are much grimmer.

Dont wash your shirt or hair
Wait outside your house I'll meet you there
Pretend you don't care about me
Or anything
Think about how the world is dying
And we can punch walls
Get our knuckles bruised

Lets be angsty tonight, just me and you
Because sometimes I miss being sad
And having nothing good to be or do

He Said I Was Evil

I am going to be the fire in your chest
Carcinogen drags from my lips
Will tourch your fresh lungs
Like trip wires in mine fields
Explosions destroying the fertile soil of your mind
You tread lightly
But not for long
I've made shackles for your strong legs
Ones
Of pain, desire, fear, misery-
Ones of total lust

I'll pull you in
Beyond what sin could condemn your guilty conscience of
Beyond seas of stars
Beyond flaming light eminating from my dazzled skin
You will crawl towards me
Beg to be free
My fire is inescapable
Desire has left you frail
Freedom is as light as charred bones
And because you know
I will take you there